Parents often find themselves navigating a whirlwind of responsibilities, from demanding careers to the constant needs of their children. It’s no surprise that many feel overworked and exhausted. Studies highlight this reality, with one revealing that mothers can work an average of 98 hours per week. Compounding the issue, free time is a rare commodity for parents. Mothers, for instance, may only get a mere 17 minutes of personal time each day. Beyond just the sheer volume of work, parental weariness can stem from emotional sources, like feelings of loneliness and disconnect that arise from shifting relationships with partners, friends, and family. Research connects loneliness to burnout, emphasizing it as a significant factor alongside overwork.
Self-care isn’t a luxury for parents; it’s a necessity. Prioritizing your well-being is not selfish but essential, not only for your own health but also for the benefit of your children. When parents actively engage in self-care and “fill their own cups,” they cultivate greater reserves of patience, energy, and love to share within their families. Emerging research underscores the teachability of self-care. Individuals can learn and implement strategies to mitigate burnout symptoms, including emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and heightened stress. Embracing self-care is about proactively nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical health so you can thrive as a parent and as an individual.
Here are 25 simple self-care tools that parents can easily integrate into their busy lives to strengthen relationships, practice self-compassion, and renew their energy:
1. Journaling for Mental Clarity
Take just 20 minutes to journal. Engage in free-flowing, stream-of-consciousness writing. This practice allows you to tap into and acknowledge feelings that might be lurking beneath the surface of your daily activities. Journaling can be a powerful tool for emotional processing and stress reduction.
2. Uplift Your Mood with Music
Put on music that elevates your spirits. This could be a song carrying a powerful message you need to hear, a nostalgic rock anthem from your youth, the rhythmic beats of African drumming, soothing flute melodies, or an upbeat pop tune. Music has a remarkable ability to shift your emotional state and provide a quick energy boost.
3. Spread Joy with Handwritten Cards
Write and send a heartfelt card to someone. It could be a birthday greeting, a thoughtful “thinking of you,” a “get well soon” wish, a congratulatory message, or simply a “just because” card. The act of expressing kindness and connection can significantly boost both your mood and the recipient’s.
Woman writing a card at a wooden table with a cup of coffee and flowers
4. Savor a Warm Drink Mindfully
Prepare a comforting drink for yourself, such as chamomile tea, rich hot chocolate, or refreshing juice, and sip it slowly and mindfully. Taking the time to truly savor a warm beverage engages your senses and provides a moment of peaceful respite in a hectic day.
5. Connect with a Friend
Schedule at least one dedicated hour to spend uninterrupted time with a close friend. This could be meeting for coffee or drinks, a phone call to catch up, dinner together, or a relaxing walk. Social connection is vital for emotional well-being, and nurturing friendships helps combat feelings of loneliness and isolation.
6. Coloring for Relaxation and Creativity
Engage in coloring a picture from a coloring book, either alongside your child or independently. Take your time and allow yourself to be absorbed in the simple act of coloring. This activity can be surprisingly meditative and offers a break from digital screens, fostering creativity and relaxation for both you and your child.
7. Cultivate Kindness on Social Media
Dedicate 20 minutes to a social media kindness spree. Use this time to post positive and encouraging comments on friends’ social media posts or send uplifting messages through messenger. Spreading positivity online not only brightens someone else’s day but also reinforces positive emotions within yourself.
8. Build a Cozy Retreat
Create a cozy and imaginative space by building a blanket fort with your children and then climb inside with them. Enjoy resting, hiding, and sharing giggles together in your fort. This playful activity fosters connection and provides a fun, stress-free environment for both parents and kids to unwind.
9. Address Your Worries with Actionable Steps
On a single sheet of paper, list three things that are currently weighing on your mind, causing you stress, or bothering you. Next to each item, jot down a single, actionable step you can take to begin addressing it. Breaking down larger worries into smaller, manageable actions can reduce feelings of overwhelm and promote a sense of control.
10. Plan a Special Date with Your Child
Schedule a special one-on-one date with your child. Activities could include going for a hike, painting pottery together, or attending a local minor-league baseball game. Dedicated individual time strengthens your bond with your child and creates lasting positive memories, while also providing a joyful break from routine.
11. Reach Out for Support
Call a trusted friend or loved one and say, “I’m having a tough time with something. Would you mind if I talked it through with you?” Vocalizing your struggles and seeking support from your network is a sign of strength and a crucial tool for managing stress and emotional challenges.
12. Connect with Nature Through a Walk
Go for a walk, ideally in a natural setting like the woods or near water. Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. A walk provides gentle exercise and a change of scenery, offering a refreshing break from indoor environments.
13. Practice Gratitude with an App
Download a gratitude app and use it to regularly record what you are thankful for. This could include simple things like a short commute, a helpful babysitter, or a comfortable home. Cultivating gratitude shifts your focus to the positive aspects of your life, fostering optimism and resilience.
14. Engage in Small Acts of Service
Perform a small act of service for someone else. Examples include baking fudge for your grandmother, contacting your representative about an important issue, shoveling a neighbor’s walkway, getting your partner’s car washed, or answering questions on freerice.com to support education. Acts of kindness and service boost your sense of purpose and connection to others.
15. Practice Brief Meditation
Engage in a short meditation session. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and focus on your breath. Repeat the mantra: “All sounds return to the breath, all thoughts return to the breath, all distractions return to the breath.” Even a few minutes of daily meditation can enhance mindfulness, reduce anxiety, and promote inner peace.
16. Complete One Small Chore
Tackle a single, small household chore that has been bothering you. This might be emptying a cluttered drawer, donating a bag of clothes, or cleaning one shelf in your refrigerator. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for completing even a small task. Accomplishing something, no matter how minor, can create a sense of progress and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed by household demands.
17. Rest and Daydream
Sit on the couch, put your feet up, and close your eyes. Allow yourself to take a brief catnap or simply daydream. Pay attention to the thoughts and images that arise when you close your eyes. Rest and daydreaming provide mental downtime, allowing your mind to wander and recharge.
18. Allow Yourself to Feel
Give yourself permission to feel blue for a little while. Cuddle up under a blanket, listen to melancholic blues music, enjoy some chocolate ice cream, or allow yourself to cry if you need to. Acknowledging and processing sad emotions is a healthy part of self-care and emotional regulation.
19. Pamper Yourself with a Treat
Treat yourself to getting your nails done. Choose a fun, unconventional color for your toenails. Personal grooming and pampering can boost self-esteem and provide a pleasant sensory experience, offering a moment of indulgence and self-appreciation.
20. Practice the Rule of Three for Positivity
Adopt the “rule of three”: consciously keep in mind three things that you are looking forward to. This practice helps maintain a positive outlook and cultivates anticipation for future enjoyable events, no matter how small they may be.
21. Set Weekly Intentions
Write down one clear goal or intention you have for the week ahead and post it prominently on your refrigerator. Remove all other clutter, like magnets, pictures, and to-do lists, to keep your intention visually clear and focused. Setting and visually reinforcing a weekly intention provides direction and purpose, helping you prioritize what’s important to you.
22. Eliminate One Unnecessary Activity
Identify one activity in your schedule that you could eliminate without significant loss or regret. Then, consciously remove it from your schedule. Saying “no” to commitments that don’t truly serve you frees up time and energy for more meaningful activities and self-care.
23. Savor Everyday Moments
Choose something you typically do each day—such as taking a shower, commuting, walking, chopping vegetables, or even reading a magazine—and decide to truly savor it instead of just rushing through it. Mindful savoring heightens your appreciation for everyday experiences and transforms routine tasks into opportunities for enjoyment.
24. Explore Local Hidden Gems
Venture out and visit a local place you’ve never been to before. This could be a new nature preserve, an unfamiliar park, a different beach, a library in another neighborhood, or a botanical garden. Exploring new environments stimulates curiosity, provides a sense of adventure, and breaks up routine.
25. Challenge Self-Comparison
Reflect on one area where you tend to compare yourself to others and feel inadequate. Remind yourself that you rarely see the full picture of other people’s lives, and often only witness the curated, positive aspects they choose to share. Challenging self-comparison fosters self-acceptance and reduces feelings of inadequacy and envy.
These self-care strategies, excerpted from Joy Fixes for Weary Parents, offer accessible ways for parents to nurture their well-being amidst the demands of family life. By incorporating even a few of these simple tools into your daily or weekly routine, you can significantly enhance your resilience, energy, and overall happiness, benefiting both yourself and your loved ones.
This article is based on insights from “Joy Fixes for Weary Parents: 101 Quick, Research-Based Ideas for Overcoming Stress – and Building a Life You Love” by Erin Leyba, Ph.D.
